Wednesday, 24 April 2013

How To Tell If You're A Singaporean

Here's a short blog post on how to tell if you're a Singaporean! Enjoy!

1. COMPLAIN
For Singaporeans we don't need to think of anything to complain about, simply because anything can make us complain. The weather, public transport, work, school, even food! The average Singaporean complains nearly every hour and only stops when he/she goes to sleep. However scientists have been unable to determine if Singaporeans still manage to complain in their dreams (Last sentence is a joke)

2. DISCOUNTS
Who bothers to wait for Great Singapore Sale to buy stuff at a cheap price? No one! Singaporeans LURVE to shop, especially the females. And we won't go for anything too expensive, because well...we're poor. So even if something costs $200 we will manage to bargain until the shop keeper also buey tahan give us discount. Also we have this awesome ability to chiong to any shops with the signs "50% SALE ONLY FOR TODAY" or "BUY 2 GET 1 FREE!!". It's a skill that we have developed throughout the decades of staying in Singapore.

3. 4K's Kan Chiong, Kiasi, Kiasu, Kaypoh.
If any of these four seem familiar to you, then you're most probably a Singaporean. We love to chiong for anything and everything, and are afraid to lose and get in trouble. Most annoyingly, we're busybodies, no matter what happens you'll definitely know because there will be a group of people gathering around and gossiping, or simply go on twitter and facebook and you get the latest news faster than your parents. We're also kiasu which means "afraid to lose". WE MUST WIN NO MATTER WHAT. No matter if it's getting the first seat in the MRT or getting the top for exams or even eating finish the fastest, we must always be the first.

4. SINGLISH
If you know what language this is or have spoken it for nearly your entire life......you're most definitely a Singaporean. Words like 'lah' 'leh' and 'loh' are something that you use in almost every sentence sia. Apart from the basic Singlish, some of us have even gone further and learnt other languages such as Malay and Hokkien, and using words in that language that aren't exactly part of Singlish. And also learning vulgarities of course. Singlish is so recognised that even the Oxford Online Dictionary has included 'lepak' as part of it. Singlish is going to dominate the world soon WOOHOO!! (I wish)

So short post here but I hope you guys enjoyed it or found it interesting!!

Thursday, 11 April 2013

Stop the comparing, seriously...

Note that this post that not apply to ALL parents, just some, but still the number is quite big.

Yes I know I said I wouldn't blog for awhile since like...yesterday? But things happen. I saw someone post a picture on twitter showing this kid, who's 9 years old, being able to score an A for O Level Maths. Then the first thing I think about is all the parents starting to compare their own kids with this kid, and then the aunties and uncles kids with their own kid, and the neighbors dog with their own kid.

What's WITH THIS COMPARING SHIT?! YOU TIHNK LIKE THIS YOUR KID WILL SUDDENLY GROW SMARTER AND START SCORING ALL FUCKING A's isit? The only you give them here is freaking stress and pressure to perform for fear of letting the parents down. Honestly if all the parents just stop comparing maybe there wouldn't be so many emo kids in Singapore or so many cases of suicide. Parents always say "I give you pressure for your own good, so you will be motivated". Please, there's a BIG HUGE GIGANTIC TITANIC difference between pressure and just purely forcing their kids to perform.

Good pressure is when the parents tell their kids "I think you can do better than this" or "Why didn't you put more effort? I know you could have done better!". THIS is good pressure, encouragement but at the same time putting a certain amount of pressure so that the kid won't lepak everyday at home on facebook and twitter. BAD pressure is when parents start comparing the kid with their siblings, neighbors, cousins, cousins-in-law, friends, and the friends cousin also. You think it helps? No, it just makes the kid think that they suck and are a failure in life. Then they start getting all emo and shit and slash themselves. When parents find out they say

"OI YOU SIAO AH SLASH YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU VERY STRESS MEH?"

 No lah mummy/daddy I very bored mah homework all finish le wanted to try play with penknife. YOU DONT SAY? Of course stress lah the way parents put it across to kids is that you should score better than everyone else for me to actually be satisfied.

Screw that. School teaches us CME(Civics and Moral Education), for what? In the end all the shit about don't compare yourself with others, dont be influenced by your peers, just be yourself, you are who you are...are all thrown into the dustbin. Why cos parents don't care about that shit. They just want to say what they think, and they don't know how their kid is feeling, simply because they think they aren't giving their kids any pressure, or even if they are, a manageable amount.

So what I'm trying to say here is, don't let your parents force you to be what you aren't or force you to go beyond your own best. Sure they are right when they want you to try harder, that is if you are actually able to do better but are not putting in all your effort, that is perfectly alright. Because parents being parents want the best for their kids. But what I hate and can't accept is when parents push their kids beyond what they can do, and then drama starts to happen, but sadly only the kid feels it, and they're stuck in their own war.

No one else feels it but them. They think they are worthless, and they start abusing themselves because of the excessive pressure on them. I just want to say to all kids out there, do your best, but don't get put down by others remarks, because you are you and they are they. If we were all smart there would be no need for exams.

Peace out.
@livinginsg

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

School, and why it sucks.

So....it's been awhile. In fact very long. Becos I just didn't know what to write about. But now I do.

School. Becos it's the Mother of All things we hate in our life. Apart from relationship problems, nagging teachers and parents, and having no internet connection. So why do we hate school?

According to a study conducted by the Society of School Haters, 99.99% of students hate school. The 0.01% are nerds with no life. So why do we hate school so much? Here are some excuses reasons why we hate it.

1. HOMEWORK
This piece of paper has brought alot of discomfort and trauma to many students. Many students are either trying to figure out how to fill this piece of paper with words or numbers, or asking help from their friends to copy it from them. Teachers however seem to love giving it to students, giving the reason that it is for their own good. This piece of paper sometimes are bundled up together to form a book, which has lines/boxes in it for students to write on. It has become a part of student life but is still a most hated part of it.

2. Exams
This is also another big issue in our schools. Not surprisingly it is also made up of papers which are attached together with a stapler. What's even worse is that these "Exams" have to be taken EVERY DAMN YEAR and we have to pass them or risk staying back. What's more, what's tested in these exams are almost impossible to answer and most of us are not able to score well. We are forced to remember a few years of content in a matter of a few weeks, a feat so great only students are forced to do it. It is even a miracle some of them manage to get an A1!!

3. Lessons
The worst part of school is probably this. In this part of school, students are forced to shut up and sit down and listen to an adult, called a "teacher" talk on and on about a certain topic for an hour or more. In the end, less than 50% of what the "teacher" said gets in our heads and we end up feeling more dead than ever. What's more, in this room called the "classroom", it can sometimes get so hot that we start sweating as if we just ran across the whole of Singapore and Sentosa. During this period, we are also given that paper called "homework" that we sometimes have to complete by the next day!! This is why we hate this part so much.

4. Detention
Schools have also found a way to punish students who do not please them. They call it "detention". It usually involves sitting outside the place where teachers work, called the "staff room", or in a classroom, doing extra work as punishment. In addition, sometimes our parents may be called and informed of our "bad behaviour".

So I hoped you guys enjoyed reading this blog post!! Hoped you found it funny enough, you better.....*evil grin

The next time I might blog will be probably ages, unless I can come up with something else to rant about.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

CNY and Valentines Day!

So...two different topics in one post.

Anyway I know it's a little late but 恭喜发财,万事如意,身体健康,年年有余,学业进步,步步高升!! And that's about all the CNY well wishes I know, if you want leave some more in the comments lol!

So Chinese New Year is the time when the whole family gets together and bonds, eats, talks, gambles, gossips, asks if your cousins got boyfriend girlfriend yet not...it's actually very fun if you have a big family. Just imagine all the ang pao you cant get...Money wise it's good to receive a big ang pao from some rich uncle or auntie that you have but it's good to give too, that's where the gambling comes in. You usually lose more than you win. True story.

Apart from the money there's the goodies, which I bet most of you starved yourself until dunnid each lunch and dinner also right? Just kidding, but the sad part is I don't really like the goodies, EXCEPT bak gua and abalone of course!!

Year of the Snake! To whoever was born in that year, have a blessed CNY and may you prosper with money and love and also happiness! That goes for all the other animals too, rat, dog, pig, horse, bull, rooster, and some other's that I forget liao...

So Valentines Day now...yes it's that time of February when all of us get damn jealous seeing couples getting way too intimate outside...actually they always are intimate lah...Valentines Day or not. But the florist will be very busy these few days, if you know what I mean. It's also a good time for confessions, proposals and everything else romantic. If anyone actually breaks up on Valentines Day....give that bitch a tight slap. Seriously. Want to break up break up on other day DEFINITELY NOT VALENTINES DAY.

While love and money is filling the air let us remember that the rest of us are still busy with work and trying to find someone that will be our "special one". So look around! Go out on Valentines Day and see if anyone else is alone! And go say hi to them! Of course don't approach someone who already got partner, and don't go towards someone of your own gender...

To end this post off, just wanna say happy CNY to all again and to the people reading this who are attached, have a great valentines day!

Monday, 4 February 2013

Poly and JC

Hey guys and girls and aunties and uncles!

It's been awhile since my last post, but then again twitter is my main source of...posting. Also I don't know if any of you noticed but I've been a little inactive on twitter. On certain days I only tweet a few tweets, and some days none at all. Reason being I'm busy with Poly, and if you don't know already I'm a first year poly student in Temasek Poly. Grats to anyone that's going there too! :D

Which brings me to my topic of this post. Poly and JC, note that I didn't say V.S. There is no competition here, both have their pros and cons, but I'm not going to give a lecture on that, because that is boring. :P Instead, I'm going to just provide some info about both Poly and JC, for those wondering what it's like. Also, some tips on probably how to survive poly, good yes?

First, the huge difference between poly and JC, for me at least, is the uniform. Poly has NO uniform, dress code yes, you have to come to school wearing something. JC however is the same as Pri and Sec school. Uniform and dress code. That means no blablablablablablablablabla....things that the DM in school has said about as many times Steven Lim has dislikes on his videos.

Second, the studying. Poly is pretty carefree, independent learning and such. The lecturers won't really scold you, they chase you yes but they don't nag...It's more fun cos the timetable isn't fixed also. Certain days you start early, certain days late. Most polys are like that except for Republic Poly. Don't ask me I have no idea why.

Thirdly, poly has more projects than JC, and you confirm chop guarantee need to stay back late when chionging your projects last minute. Not really that good cos you end up anyhow do but no choice. However poly has lesser homework and exams, so if you hate studying and prefer more hands on stuff poly is the place for you!

Fourthly, I don't know why everyone go poly want to get a bf/gf. Guys especially. Once go in poly eyes fly everywhere, sometime on more than one girl. Girls reading this, watch out hor, not all the guys are good. For girls, dunno why some like to dress like go Geylang liddat, serious. If you want to show your body, please don't do it in school. We guys can't concentrate on lessons. :D At the same time you will get perverts in school giving you those eyes that creep the shit out of you. If you want to look attractive then dress casual good enough, at least that's what I think.

For JC, it's pretty much like Secondary school, except it's much harder, so good luck to those who go there. All the best!

Lastly, wherever you guys and girls are going to, best of luck in your studies and hopefully you will score well! Don't slack too much, even for poly students, it's not as relaxing as you thought!

I have to think of things to talk about by the way! So if anyone wants to suggest anything either DM me on twitter or comment on this post!

Friday, 4 January 2013

The New Year Post!

I know I'm a little late, I was sick for New Year, super suay yes I know. And it's still 4th Jan and first week of 2013 so I'm considering it as "new".

Happy New Year to all you people reading this! Have an awesome year ahead and may all your wishes and resolutions come true! Of course not everyone makes resolutions because it feels like homework.... o.o

So New Year means partying right? Marina Bay countdown, clubbing at Zouk/Siloso Beach etc etc. Party, get drunk, and wake up the next day with damn bad headache. That's new year in Singapore...New year also means must go shop shop buy new clothes, new pants, new underwear also.

Happy New Year? Eh priest lah teacher give so much homework last minute everyone chionging at home what happy? Stressful new year still can bah...if you want students to really have a HAPPY new year, you don't give them homework for the final holidays. If teacher want to give anything give ang bao we gladly accept, early CNY for us and more pocket money during holidays.

And also no one really was like OMG the world didn't end, and like ok loh see I told you those Mayans were wrong liao anyhow go say 21 Dec we all die. And then we start complaining again.

My new year wishes?1. Less complaining, from parents, teachers, and myself of course.2. Singapore weather also drop 1-2 degrees I happy liao, I duwan everyday wake up in sauna.3. Less homework, I not very smart student lah, need more time to do one piece of work, at least one week.4. Less MRT breakdown, worst thing is kena stuck in tunnel with no signal summore, at least stuck outside still can see scenery. 5. No stupid person with the name start with letter "A" go do something bodoh online or go wong people not to touch his gf. 6. I would like Singapore reservoirs and rivers to be free of bodies, our water bodies are not for diving, too shallow le.

So that's all for this post! Hope you guys liked my wishes! Enjoy your start of school again, if you can and don't always sian ji pua!

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Christmas!!!! And random stuff XD

So, long time since I last posted I know. Nothing much to say mah... :P Anyway! Christmas is coming!! WOOHOO!! That means presents!! You have to admit, you look forward to the presents also right?? I remember last time when I was just a kid(the most cliche term ever used by adults), I wanted toy guns and swords for christmas. And in the end I play for a few days sian liao. Waste money hor? Now right...just buy my clothes can already, or better still gimme money I buy my own stuff :D Easier for both my and my family.

So yes I know a ton of kids, teens and adults also will be buying iPhone 5, or the new iPad or iPad mini or Samsung S3, or Samsung Galaxy Tab. You know...those cool gadgets that 5 year old kids are playing with nowadays. I 5 year old that time hor, sit on MRT my only entertainment was looking outside the window there for fun, now leh? Can see 5 year old kids got "babysitter".

Not that I'm complaining, generation difference...it's the holidays anyway! Must spend abit more right? And yes I know abit the late but I want to say grats to all those P6s who did well for their PSLE and for those O Level students who are waiting for their results which will come out in about 2 months time I think? But it's the holidays now so don't worry and be happy!! Go have fun and stop being so stress about school cos there's no more school for the time being!! Hahahahaha!!

No, Santa Claus doesn't exist but I think we can trust Steven Lim to come up with some weird weird idea for Christmas, maybe he give everyone in Singapore free eyebrow plucking service...I just don't want him to offer free music concert for Singapore. Or maybe the adults will all get year end bonus from their boss or something. And the kids of course benefit lah cos their parents got more money buy iPhone 5 for them!

So, another blog post ends here, I know not many people read but I still find it fun! So, yea if you got anything to say can just comment, so far I only got one comment very sad leh... T.T. So yes PRIEST enjoy your holidays, I know many of you or most of you already started long ago since well, exams ended long ago but still enjoy Christmas and Happy New Year in advance!!

I'll probably be blogging again during New Year, or 21st December 2012...

Peace out!